Attitudes

As I grow in my Christian walk I have become more and more aware that we need to develop an attitude of gratitude - no matter what happens in life.  Paul tells us to give thanks in everything and for everything.

You don't mean give thanks that my child has cancer, my husband has left me, I was abused as a child?

Yes, I do mean that.  Granted we don't thank God that our child has cancer.  However, there is something in this situation for which you can be thankful.  A kind neighbor watches the other children while you take your little one for her chemo treatment.  You have a support group that is praying for you.  You have a fine oncologist in your area to whom you can go for treatment.  Your insurance is picking up all the cost or most of it.  Your lack of insurance is being met by a fund raiser in your child's name.

Do you get the picture?  There is always something you can be thankful for.

The same holds true for any scenario you think of.

Recently this was brought home to me by the attitiudes of two friends who recently lost their spouses.  Theresa's husband had cancer and eventually succumbed to it.  Her attitude - We had time to say goodbye.  He made a list for me of things I need to know.  He had time to write notes to our two children.  Our children and grandchildren had a chance to say goodbye.

Beverly's husband was killed when he ran in front of a car on his daily run.  He had macular degeneration, and so he probably did not see the car.  Beverly's reaction - He didn't suffer, he probably never knew what happened.  I feel terrible for the woman who hit him.  She must be suffering because she could not stop in time.

Two tragedies met with grace and thankfulness in their time of sorrow.

Do they grieve their loss?  Of course, they do.
Do they wonder how they will cope now that all decisions are made by them without anyone to give advise?  Of course, they do.
Are they lonely?  Is that bed awfully big and empty now?  Of course.
Do they have tremendous decisions to make at this point?  Of course.

I admire both these ladies.

What is my  response to my friends' situations.  What  can I do?  I heard once that the evening is the hardest.  Everyone has gone into their own 'caves'.  The lonely one has a big cave and noone with whom to share it.  A phone call at that hour to let her know I care may be welcome.

We live in a couples world.  Perhaps including them  in a night out at a restaurant or to the movies or a play would be welcome.  A card now and then.

Prayer for wisdom as decisions are made is vital.

Daddy or Father?

Sometimes something happens that just blesses my boots off!  We had everyone home for Thanksgiving this year - 16 total.  Our two sons with their families were able to stay for 3 days.  Unfortunately, our daughter had to leave late Thursday Night. 

All this is to get to my blessings.  I spotted the two adult sons, one almost 40, the other 51, sitting across each other at the dining room table deep in conversation.  Since they see each other rarely it was just a special blessing to see them communicate with such  love and interest.

Later, I saw the 40 yr. old sitting on the sofa, his 13 yr. old daughter snuggled up to him as he had his arm draped over her shoulder.  After awhile he left the sofa and I went to her and said something to this effect:  "Katie, you are so fortunate to have a Daddy you can snuggle up to.  Young ladies need the touch of their fathers in a loving, non-threatening way."

Why did this bring tears to my eyes?  My father was not a daddy - he was a father.  He never touched me in an inappropriate way - in fact, he never touched me.  Both he and I would have been shocked if I'd snuggled up to him on the sofa.  It just wasn't done.  I know he loved me in his own way, and I've analyzed why he was a  stand-offish father.  Still, I wonder sometimes what person I would have become had he been a daddy.

Today I was reading Ps. 91.  I never got past the first verse.  I picture myself snuggled up to God on a sofa in the shelter of his arms.  I rest there and put my head on his shoulder, safe in the shadow of His Presence. 

If anyone reads this blog and their father was a daddy - Thank God for him first, and then, if he's still alive, give him a big hug and tell him how thankful you are that he was your daddy.  If your daddy is deceased, thank your heavenly Father for giving this wonderful person to you as your daddy. 

The father we have as a child is the picture we begin with as to what our heavenly father is like.  When I first became a Christian I had a hard time picturing God as a loving, forgiving father, and not a stern, hands off father. 

More than conquerors

Back in Lenexa arriving about 9:15.  The P.T. was here and she had J. sitting in a regular chair, going up and down stairs once, and even encouraging her to take short forays outside.  The nurse came next, and by the time she left J. was exhausted and slept in her chair.  I am tired, also.  I've gotten used to sleeping till 7:30 so I'm tired from my drive and early A.M. waking.

I've read my 5 chapters of the Psalms - today mostly about the I. remembering what God had done for them in bringing them out of Egypt and again, centuries later, losing all they'd been given in Israel.

Yesterday's sermon by a young evanagelist brought to mind a scipture that I've heard several times lately - Isa. 54:17 - "No weapon  forged against you shall prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you".
What a powerful  verse - I don't know why it never caught my eye before.  I think of J. and all she's gone through for the past 8 mos. - Satan meant to bring her down - he has forged every weapon he could - infection, pain, helplessness, discouragement, but, Praise God, he has not prevailed.  She will recover and she will be a witness for what Godd has done in her life.

The second verse the evangelist cited - Rom. 8:37 - "In all things we are more than conquerors".  What is Paul talking anout?

Trouble - Hardshp - Persecution - Famine - Nakedness - Danger - Sword

None of the above can separate us from the love of Christ.

 He goes on

Death - Life - Angels - Demons - Present - Future - Any powers - Height - Depth - Anything in Creation

These cannot separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus!

WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS!

Messies

Having just come from my daughter's house I've come to the conclusion that not only do messies live in chaos, they also spend money needlessly because they don't know what they already have. 

Let me preface my remarks by saying that she was not raised in a messy house.  Nor do I want to blame my wonderful son-in-law who was also not raised in a messy house.  I don't know what has caused them to not put things away, not pick up newspapers, load the sink with dirty dishes until someone decides to put them in the dishwasher (speaking of dirty dishes, how much trouble is it to rinse a dish when you're done with it?), fold towels before putting them in the linen closet, etc., etc. etc.   You get the picture.

Last week as I was staying with her as she recuperates from surgery,we tackled some of the messy places.  First, the rather narrow, but deep pantry in the kitchen.  We found 8 jars of BBQ sauce, 4 boxes of unopened popcorn plus one that was opened, 5 bottles of olive oil, countless cans of beans (black, red, baked, refried).  She was so inspired that she made labels for each of the shelves with what was on that shelf.  Next we delved into the linen closet.  It is upstairs and she is unable to navigate those stairs yet, so I pulled things out of the closet and asked her what to do with them.  Three therma blankets with holes or snags in them were either thrown or given to charity, towels stacked so we know where to grab a hand towel, wash cloth, or bath towel.  As soon as she can climb stairs she's going to label those shelves.  Beware - anyone who dares to mess with them again! 

Next we tackled the laundry area.  Again, about 6 containers of rug spot remover, 8 bottles of various sizes of hand sanitizer, 4 boxes of Bounce, and three boxes of "rags to clean with". 

I wonder how long this will last. 

I learned a long time ago when I was teaching "Stress Management" classes to "put away, don't put down". 

Messies don't want to admit it, but the messes they live with do cause stress - they just don't know how to cope with it.  Given enough time, the messes grow to the point that the job of straightening everything out becomes a daunting task.

A letter from the past

We recently had to make a trip back to New York for a funeral.  While there, we went to visist one of my sisters-in-law.  She mentioned that she had my father's Bible and would I like it?

Of course, the answer was YES!

First, his name is engraved on the outside.  So I decided that I would give it to another sister-in-law who has a son with the same name and middle initial, or if she chose, to her grandson who has the name name but reversed.  (For example John Alan instead of Alan John)

The best thing was:

Inside the Bible was a copy of my mother's birth certificate and a certification of my father's birth.  I remember that when they applied for Social Security about 50 years ago that they had to write to the places where they were born for birthcertificates.  My mother's is exceptionally interesting.  It stated not only her name and her parents names, but whether they were legal or illegal residents of the the US - can you imagine the outcry today if this was on the birth certificate?  Also, were they white or Indian.

The next interesting item was a letter written by my father to my mother on the occasion of the birth of my oldest brother.  He was born at a time when Mom(s) went to a midwife, stayed there for two weeks before coming home.  My father didn't sign his name, but rather signed - "From your affectionate long-haired, blackbearded husband".  So cute and doesn't sound like the father I remember!

Where do I want to live?

Something was said at Bible Study that sparked my thoughts on mountains, valleys, and plains.
Here goes, for what it's worth.

We don't grow spiritually on the mountain top.  There's very little fertile soil on the mountain top.  Oh, it's fun to be that high, to be above all the cares of our world and to see far into the distance.  But, we can't stay on the mountain top forever.  There's very little soil there for anything to grow.  On the mountain top we exist on emotion and repetitious phrases.  We are the baby who subsists on his mother's milk.

In the valley we are beset by the cares and worries of the world and by the cares and worries of our personal world.  Worries about finances, illness, jobs, etc. keep us focused on ourselves instead of forcusing on God's Word and the promises He has made. Promises like -
He will never leave you or forsake you" or "I know the plans I have for you - plans to prosper you".  So many others that I won't take the time to write them.

I want to live on the plains.  The plains have fertile soil.  The plains are where we are most open to God's Word.  It is where, like a seed planted in soil, God's Word feeds and waters our soil.  His Word provides the rain and sun to make His Word grow in our hearts.  We need the sunny days where we are blessed and approved.  We need the rainy days when God's Word waters our souls.   Too much sun and we become lazy in our calling and don't have the moisture that we need.  We wither and produce little or no fruit because we begin to think that is our efforts and our talents that have blessed us rather than God's favor.  Too much rain and our focus is on our problems to the point that we forget who is in control.

On the plains we can see for a long distance.  We envision that Holy City situated on a hill.  We want to get to that Holy City.  It's a long way off for some of us, others are closer to it, but it's where we want to live ultimately.

Confrontation

I have 9 grandchildren whom I love with all my heart.  2 of the 9 are often on my mind because I'm not sure of their commitment to the Lord.  Supposedly they have accepted Christ as their savior, but I don't see a lot of evidence of it.

Yesterday I received a "tweet" from one of them in which a four letter word I absolutely hate was used.  I wasn't sure how to respond, or even if I should respond.  Should I tell his mother and let her know what he wrote?  Should I just forget it and chalk it up to how young people talk these days?  Unsure of what I should do I decided to sleep on it for a day.

Sure enough in the middle of the night the Lord told me exactly what to do.  Often I do my best deciding on any given issue in the middle of the night.  I was told to write to him, express my love for him, but tell him that I don't wish to receive any more messages that use offensive words.

He's an upstanding young man and he texted me back, not apologizing, but reaffirming that he loves me and "love" was a four-letter word we could both agree on.

I retexted him and told him he is an upstanding young man and I appreciated his reply.  I hope my praise of him and my prayers for him will bear fruit sometime in the future.